There is a popular belief that if a man is interested, he will walk across a crowded room to speak to a woman whom he finds attractive. In reality though, the only type of man who has the nerve to do this is usually someone who has had a significant amount of practice doing it i.e. a man who approaches women often. This is probably not a great choice of man.

Most men fear rejection, which is understandable, as rejection is a pretty horrible feeling.

As there tends to be an expectation that men should ask women out, he has probably attempted to approach women many times in his life and has probably been rejected over and over. This can obviously have a negative impact on his self esteem. Each time he thinks about approaching another woman he remembers the painful rejections of the past and this can discourage him from approaching a woman again.

He also fears being ridiculed by his friends and any strangers who are watching too. If he walks across a room to speak to you and you turn him down, he has the long, painfully embarrassing walk back to his friends. Not many men are going to risk that even if they really like you.

This is why they need a little bit of help from you to make the decision to risk approaching you.

So what exactly can you do to help him out and increase your chances of getting to know someone who has taken your eye?


Here are two things that you can do to help him out:

1) Make eye contact – Hold it for a good few seconds so that he knows that you are looking at him. Look away and then look again, so that he knows that you are interested. Then leave it for a while. Then every now and then look over again and hold for a few seconds. It is important to look over for a few seconds so that he is clear that you are looking at him specifically rather than just randomly looking around the room.

2) Smile while you look over. It’s important to do this so that he knows that you are a friendly, approachable woman. He can take this as a sign that he won’t get rejected if he makes a move.

Your aim here is to send two messages with your behaviour i.e. looking and smiling, and those two messages are:

1) you are interested and

2) you are approachable.

Men need some indication through your body language that you are both of these before they will risk coming over to speak to you.

If a man doesn’t respond to both of these cues then it probably means that he either isn’t interested or he has a partner and that’s perfectly ok. If he doesn’t respond then you have to accept this and consider other options. Do not wander over to him because if you do then you will be chasing a man who has indicated that he isn’t interested and this usually leads to disappointment…………….yours.

I hope this blog has helped in some way

Until next time

Emma xxx

If you would like help with any dating, relationship or breakup problem, then book a brain pick session with me. Contact me at


* Please be aware that this blog is intended for general informational purposes only and should not be perceived as professional advice. I cannot guarantee results or be held accountable for dating outcomes based on the content of these blog posts. You use this information at your own risk. If you need assistance with your individual situation, please consult a professional.

Pin It on Pinterest