One of the biggest mistakes that women make when dating is rushing into relationships too quickly. They often become disappointed and hurt, when the relationship that they thought they were going to get, doesn’t materialise. To avoid this, I recommend using what I call the traffic light dating mindset.

This refers to the three types of mindsets a woman can adopt when she is dating. I refer to it as the “traffic light system” as the mindsets are similar to the British traffic lights.

  • Red = stop
  • Amber = hesitate, be careful, slow down but get ready 
  • Green = go


1) A red mindset means that you should stop dating someone immediately. They have revealed something about themselves that is a major red flag or a deal breaker, such as they are married or they have behaved unpleasantly towards you. Don’t look back or ask yourself “but what if”, as you made the right decision. You can’t find the right man if you keep red-flag men in your life. Drop them like rocks and don’t give them another thought.


2) An amber mindset means that you date someone but with a cautious approach and an eye on other male options. This is the mindset where you “see how it goes”. You don’t invest too much time or emotion in this man, so that you are able to let go fairly easily if it doesn’t work out.

The reason why women should adopt an amber mindset in the early stages of dating is because at this point every relationship is vulnerable. This is the time when two people are getting to know each other and deciding if it is something that they want to pursue. A genuine bond hasn’t formed yet and at any point, either party can decide that the other person is not for them and can end the relationship. It is because of this vulnerability that everyone should adopt an amber mindset in the first few months of dating. During this time it is a good idea to be cautious (but not paranoid and suspicious) and to take the relationship very slowly, so that you can walk away being slightly disappointed rather than devastated.

As the relationship progresses and a man demonstrates that he is a good option and treats you well consistently, then after around three months, you can move into a green mindset. You should only do this if you have considered what your heart, your head and your instincts are telling you.


3) A green mindset means that you can relax and enjoy the relationship as you have got to know him well and he has demonstrated consistently through his actions that he likes you and wants the same type of relationship that you do i.e. an exclusive one. If a man hasn’t indicated that he wants an exclusive relationship, NEVER move to a green mindset. Keep an amber one and see how it develops. So many women (and men) have been hurt as a result of choosing to adopt a green mindset when dating someone who only makes a half hearted effort with them and has said that they don’t want a relationship with them. Make sure that you aren’t the victim of this situation due to adopting the wrong mindset too early.


I hope this has helped.

Until next time



* Please be aware that this blog is intended for general informational purposes only and should not be perceived as professional advice. I cannot guarantee results or be held accountable for dating outcomes based on the content of these blog posts. You use this information at your own risk. If you need assistance with your individual situation, please consult a professional.


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