Many women find this hard to work out as some women find men’s behaviour pretty confusing.

* This isn’t helped by the fact that when we like someone it is difficult to assess their behaviour objectively because our minds start to look for signs that they are interested. The problem with this though is that when our minds are looking for signs that someone likes us, it often leads us to either overlooking a man’s limited interest or explaining it away, because we don’t want to face the disappointment of this relationship not going anywhere.


This blog is aimed to help women to work out a man’s level of interest from his behaviour, so they can decide if they want to continue investing in him or not.

Let’s begin…….


An important rule of male behaviour:

How a man behavesand the amount of consistent efforta man makes with a woman is a direct reflectionof his level of interest in her.


As I see it, there are three main levels of male interest/commitment. They are:

1) Fully interested

2) Partially interested

3) Not interested

A man’s level of interest can change throughout the dating process depending on how he feels.


Here is a description of the three levels of interest and how a man is likely to behave at each of the three levels:


1) Fully interested– A man who is fully interested makes a consistent effort with a woman that he likes. He looks for ways to spend time with her. He won’t let her doubt his interest at any point, as he doesn’t want to lose her. This is the man that you want.You shouldn’t consider any other type of man after two months of dating (as he is just getting to know you at this point). After two months of dating, if he is not making a consistent effort with you, drop him like a rock and find someone who will.


2) Partially interested– A man who is partially interested will make an inconsistenteffort with a woman. He usually makes an effort when it is convenient for him but will make no effort when it isn’t. Women in this position often tell themselves that a man is sending “mixed messages” but unfortunately he is sending a clear message……….. that he isn’t fully interested.


This is how this common relationship dynamic often plays out……….

A woman in this situation often gets frustrated with this man as she isn’t getting the type of relationship that she wants. She is likely to confront the man and accuse him of not making enough effort with her. When confronted, this type of man will usually make excuses for his inconsistent and lacklustre behaviour……that he secretly hopes she will accept. Because she likes him and doesn’t want to face the painful truth (that he isn’t fully interested), she accepts these excuses and the hot and cold dynamic continues. He gets to have her at his convenience, when he wants an ego boost, company, sex, companionship & affection, with minimal effort.  But in return she gets to feel good one minute and rejected the next.

However, the dynamic continues while she waits for him to change…….which doesn’t happen.


Women in this situation often make three mistakes.

These mistakes are:

1) Telling themselves that this situation is ok for now

2) Telling themselves that one day he will be better and

3) Focusing their efforts on figuring out how to get him to be more interested in her, rather than focusing their efforts on finding someone who is fully interested in her.


Remember this ladies…..

 A man’s consistent effort = his level of interest


If you have been in this situation, promise yourself that from now on you will only make an effort with a man who is fully interested and makes a consistent effort with you.


3) Not interested– Men who aren’t interested are easy to spot. They are men that don’t make any effort with a woman. He will be polite to a woman but will only make an active effort to talk, flirt and spend time with a woman that he is interested in.

If you want to know what type of man that you are currently dating, then book a Brain Pick session with me to find out email me at to book a session.

* Please be aware that this blog is intended for general informational purposes only and should not be perceived as professional advice. I cannot guarantee results or be held accountable for dating outcomes based on the content of these blog posts. You use this information at your own risk. If you need assistance with your individual situation, please consult a professional.

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