During the dating process, you will constantly have to make decisions. The culmination of all of your dating decisions will determine whether you end up with a good man and a happy relationship or the wrong man and an unhappy relationship.
One way of increasing your chances of making good dating decisions is to become more conscious of what decisions you are making and by reminding yourself of the importance of each one.
To do this, think of each dating decisions as a Y. You will constantly be faced with many dating Y’s.
What do I mean by a dating Y?
If you look at the shape of the letter Y, at the top, there is a fork, which takes you in two different directions.
With regards to dating, you will have to make many decisions. For each decision you will have at least two choices. The fork of the Y can represent the two choices. At each fork, you can choose to do something (say yes) or you can choose not to do something (say no)
If you choose to do something, then you are heading left and if you choose not to do something then you are choosing to go right. The type of man that you end up with, will be based on the accumulation of all of the choices you make at the various dating Y’s.
Here are some common dating Y decisions:
- You can choose to go out and meet more men or you can choose to stay in and not meet men.
- You can choose to keep telling yourself that all men are bad or you can choose to try to shift your focus to men that are nice.
- You can choose to keep protecting yourself from getting hurt by not dating or you can choose to dip your toe into the dating water and see how it goes.
- You can choose whether you continue to make dating choices by just using your feelings alone or you can choose to start using your brain & instincts as well.
- If a man asks if he can have your phone number, you can choose whether you give it to him or not.
- If a man asks you out on a date, you can choose to say yes or no to going on a date with him.
- If a man says he will call you after a date but doesn’t, you can choose to tell yourself there must be something wrong with you or you can choose to tell yourself that you just weren’t a match.
- After one date, with a seemingly nice man, you can choose to label him as an really good catch (based on a few hours of knowing him) or you can choose to tell yourself that he seems nice but it’s too early to tell.
- You feel a strong sexual chemistry between you on the first date. He wants to have sex with you. You choose to go to his house and sleep with him or you can choose to go home on your own.
- A man tells you that he doesn’t want a relationship. You can choose to believe him and walk away or you can choose to stay and hope that he will change his mind.
- You know that your boyfriend is not a good option. You choose whether to believe that he will change one day or you can choose to end the relationship and find someone better.
As you can see, whilst dating there are many decisions that you will need to make. You will be constantly faced with small dating Y’s. As I’ve said before, the accumulation of these small decisions will lead you to the type of relationship that you end up with. Remind yourself that you are in control of all of your dating decisions.
However, there is something that you need to be aware of and that is that people’s dating Y decisions are affected by the beliefs in their subconscious. This is why it is essential to become aware of your decisions and the underlying beliefs that cause them. If you don’t deal with the underlying beliefs you will continue to make the same dating decisions, which will result in you getting the same dating results i.e. remaining single, dating unsuitable men or even worse, dating bad men.Something to remember…….
Dating is an important process. You won’t end up marrying a disappointing man if you don’t date a disappointing man. Learn to choose wisely
I hope this blog has helped.
Until next time……..
* Please be aware that this blog is intended for general informational purposes only and should not be perceived as professional advice. I cannot guarantee results or be held accountable for dating outcomes based on the content of these blog posts. You use this information at your own risk. If you need assistance with your individual situation, please consult a professional.