Ever wondered why the same man treats different women very differently? Ever wondered why a man wouldn’t commit to his girlfriend of years but when they split he marries another women that he’s known for just a short period of time?

Generally speaking, men often simplify and compartmentalise things. One way that they do this is by categorising women. They usually do this within a few minutes of meeting them.

There are four basic categories that men place women into and how a man treats a woman will depend on the category that he has placed her into. The good news is that a woman’s behaviour will often affect which category that she is placed into, so each woman has a certain level of control over how a man will perceive her & treat her.


Here are the four categories:

1) Friend Category

This is the category where a man just sees a woman as a friend and even though she may be attractive, he just doesn’t see her in “that way”. The women in this category are women that he feels that he doesn’t have sexual chemistry with.


2) The Fling Category

When a man places a woman in this category, he just wants to have sex with her. He doesn’t want to get to know her as a person, he just wants to have sex with her temporarily.

3) Temporary Girlfriend Category

This is probably the worst category for a woman to find herself in (possibly along with the fling category). If a woman is in this category she will become his girlfriend, but all along the man views the relationship as temporary (even if it is years). This is the worst category for a woman because she understandably views the relationship differently and believes that one day he is going to commit and they are possibly going to get married. The man, meanwhile doesn’t view it that way but fails to tell her that he isn’t interested in committing to her because it would mean that he would have to give up the benefits of being in a relationship with her……..for now.

This is a confusing category for the woman involved as she is likely to receive mixed messages from him. This is because he has mixed feelings for her. On the one hand, he wants to be in the relationship to receive the benefits that he is getting from her but on the other hand he doesn’t want to invest too heavily or give her the impression that he is in it for the long term, as he will feel guilty for leading her on. This is why one minute he will make an effort with her, to encourage her to stay and the next, he will make no effort at all as he doesn’t want her to get the impression that he is fully involved. It is in this situation where a man may passively allow a women to believe that the relationship is long term, rather than “set her straight” (which would possibly lead to the end of the relationship and the benefits that he has been receiving)

This is why a woman should always focus on a) whether a man’s actions match his words and b) that he makes an effort with her consistently


4) Wife Category

When a man views a woman as wife material he will go to any lengths to get her, if he is at the point in his life where he wants to commit. This is one difference between men and women: Men need to be at a point in their lives where they are ready to have a relationship for them to have a relationship, whereas women are usually ready to have a relationship at any point.

If he views her in this way, there is absolutely nothing that will stop him from pursuing her as he sees each effort he makes as an investment in his future as he sees himself being married to her. He will not send her mixed signals or treat her badly as he knows that if he does then he may lose her and he doesn’t want that. He makes sure that she is fully aware of how much he wants her, so that she doesn’t get scared off by the confusion and pain of mixed signals. He likes her to the point where he doesn’t want to hurt her ever, so he behaves well and makes a significant amount of effort to maintain the relationship.


There are very subtle signs that will alert a woman to the type of category that the man has placed her into. There are certain things that he will say and do if he believes that she is wife material and slightly different things he will do if he just views her as a friend, a fling or a girlfriend for now.

Please be aware ladies that because men are sexually motivated (its just the way it is) they will have sex with women in each of the four categories, so never be fool yourself into believing that a man wanting to have sex with you means that he views you as wife material. You could be a fling, a friend or a girlfriend for now and you can’t tell which one you are by a man wanting to have sex with you. The way to discover which category he has placed you in is by observing what he says and what he does outside of the bedroom…..never within it.

I hope this helps.

Until next time…..


P.s. If you want to know which category a man has placed you into or you want to know how you can avoid being placed in the Fling category or the Temporary Girlfriend category, you may wish to book a session with me to gain a greater understanding. Contact me at emma@thedatingmermaid.com for more details.


* Please be aware that this blog is intended for general informational purposes only and should not be perceived as professional advice. I cannot guarantee results or be held accountable for dating outcomes based on the content of these blog posts. You use this information at your own risk. If you need assistance with your individual situation, please consult a professional.





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