How To Handle A Manipulative Ex After A Breakup

A manipulative ex is someone who will say or do things to get you to do what they want. Their primary goal is to get you to change your behaviour or continue to behave in a way that they like.

 

They can be very difficult to deal with and you are likely to feel constantly uncomfortable around them. This is because they use strategies to control you and many of those strategies are designed to make you feel uncomfortable.

 

Here are some things a manipulative ex may want you to do:

  • Remain single
  • Give them an ego boost by giving them time and attention
  • Have sex with them without a commitment from them
  • Take sole blame for what has happened

 

 

Here are some of the strategies that they will use to control you:

  • They try to make you feel guilty by telling you how you are hurting them and others.
  • They will ignore you
  • They will be nice to you when you do what they want. This is to encourage you to continue doing what they want.
  • They will manipulate other people into putting pressure on you to do what they want. This includes telling people how badly you have treated them to encourage them to take “their side”.
  • They will put you down so that you feel bad about yourself.
  • They will tell you that you are wrong, so that you doubt yourself.

 

 

How To Handle A Manipulative Ex:

  • Firstly become aware of the games that some exes will play to get what they want. Remember that these types of exes are not interested in considering what you want. They only think of themselves. Be aware that some people can become very selfish after a breakup and you may see a completely different side to your ex.
  • Always pay attention to what you are getting in every situation. Many women are so giving that they rarely stop to ask themselves what they are getting in return for what they are giving. They don’t make sure that they are getting a “good deal”.
  • Manipulative people are selfish. They only care about their own needs. Don’t pine for someone like this. Don’t put them on a pedestal. Be relieved that you are no longer with them.
  • Many people spend their time either trying to convince manipulative people that they are wrong, trying to justify their behaviour to a manipulative person or trying to get the approval of the manipulative person (who has deliberately withdrawn their approval). Their goal is to get the manipulative person to stop making them feel uncomfortable. This doesn’t work. It only frustrates people further. Drop the need to convince a manipulative person of your viewpoint. They don’t care about others. They just care about getting their own way. Once you stop trying to get them to approve of you, life will become less frustrating. Focus on trusting your own judgement of you and what has happened, then you won’t feel the need to convince others.
  • Stop interacting with a manipulative person or keep your interaction with them to a minimum. Don’t reply to text messages or get into long drawn out arguments. Don’t waste your time. You will never convince them, you will just frustrate yourself further. The more you interact with them, the more opportunities you are giving them to toy with you. Don’t worry about upsetting them. They have brought it on themselves. It’s the consequence they have to face for manipulating you. In this situation being nice may mean that you continue to allow yourself to be a victim. Don’t allow this to happen to you. Starve the manipulative interaction of oxygen.

 

I hope this blog has helped.

Until next time……

Emma xxx

by Emma Staddon on April 25, 2017 · 0 comments

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