One Way To Get Over a Breakup Fast……

BenefitsAfter a breakup many people torment themselves even further and delay the moving on process by focusing on only the good parts of the relationship. If you only focus on the good and ignore the bad it’s just your mind playing tricks on you. This makes the breakup even more painful because you believe that you have lost something and haven’t benefitted at all. Loss leads to grieving, which can be exceptionally painful.

 

It is important to neutralise the fantasy games that your mind is playing on you and take off the rose tinted glasses that are causing you so much extra pain. To do this, take the time to assess the relationship realistically and logically (even though you may not feel like it) and pay attention to why your relationship wasn’t as rosy as you are remember. If you do find that you keep focusing on the good parts of the relationship, then use this to your advantage. Make a note of the good aspects of the relationship and promise yourself that you will look for these when you are looking for your next partner.

 

There are two things you can do to help you to remove the rose tinted glasses from your head and reduce the pain of the perceived loss.

1) List the things that you have gained as a result of no longer being the relationship

Here are some possible examples depending on the type of relationship you had:

* I now have time to myself, where I can do what I want, when I want
* I can now flirt with other men and feel attractive and wanted
* I can go on dates with other men and enjoy the excitement associated with the beginning of a relationship again
* I can spend all of my money on me
* I can now wear what I want every day
* I feel in control of my emotions every day
* I now have the opportunity to focus on building my confidence and not be held back by anyone else’s issues
* I can see my friends whenever I want
* I can watch whatever TV programmes I want, when I want

 

2) List the things that you avoid by not being in the relationship

Here are some possible examples depending on the type of relationship you had:

* I can now avoid feeling insecure, which I did when he looked at and flirted with other women
* I can now stop trying to win someone’s approval and attention, which was draining
* I can now avoid the criticism from his mother
* I don’t have to clean up after someone else
* I avoid having to deal with his moods
* I now avoid having to spend time with his work colleagues that I didn’t like
* I am now free of the insecurity I felt as a result of him not being fully part of the relationship
* I am now free of being criticised by him
* I am now free of being with someone who has affairs that made me feel insecure, unattractive, paranoid and unwanted

Write all of your answers down. If you are really depressed about the break up, then place both of your lists around your house, just so that you can be constantly reminded about the positive aspects of your current situation.

 

Remember that your ex is not the only man in the world and there are many men who could give you everything that your ex gave you and MORE! You just have to spend a bit of time getting yourself out and about and enabling men to find you! Go fishing today.

Remember that you are in control of your life and your future will be brighter if you focus on working on healing the pain that you feel and take action to change your life.

 

I hope this blog has helped in some way

Until next time

Emma xxx

If you would like help with any dating, relationship or breakup problem, then book a brain pick session with me. Contact me at emma@thedatingmermaid.com

by Emma Staddon on March 12, 2017 · 0 comments

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