How To Feel Less Guilty About Breaking Up With Someone

004It may get the extent where you have decided that you no longer wish to continue the relationship. There are different scenarios here, which should be viewed in different ways.

 

The other person may have been really nice throughout and hasn’t done anything wrong. It is a sad fact of life but we are suited to some people and not others and it takes a while to discover whether we are compatible or not. This is particularly difficult if the other person is more involved. To end a relationship with someone who is really nice and is more involved with you than you are with them is particularly difficult. However, it is better to end it now than lead them on and continue the relationship, where they become even more involved. If they are nice people, they will definitely find someone else. Sensitivity is the key here both during the break up speech and after the event. If you have ended a relationship, it wouldn’t be particularly nice if you were parading their replacement in front of them the next night and using the excuse “we’ve broken up so I can now do what I want”. This isn’t demonstrating sensitivity and if you want to behave like this then they may have had a luckier escape than they thought as people who lack sensitivity and integrity are not prizes!

 

If during this type of relationship you think that you haven’t behaved with integrity and have treated them badly or led them on by giving them the impression that you were more interested in them than you were, then take full responsibility for what you have done and apologise. At this point you might want to let them know that they are a nice person etc but they are not for you. This way you don’t allow them to think that they have done anything wrong but you don’t lead them on further

 

Generally – Try to be nice, without patronising during a break up. Don’t allow them to believe that something is wrong with them if they were nice to you. Some people can’t cope with feeling uncomfortable about breaking up with someone and either say something or omit something which results in the other person feeling bad about themselves when they don’t deserve it. Take full responsibility for your behaviour/choices/issues, rather than blaming them, when it’s not their fault. Remember to always behave with integrity as your unconscious will always know and this knowledge will gradually chip away at your self-respect – and without that you don’t have a lot

 

Breaking up with someone who has treated you badly is a bit of a different story and allows you to have a slightly different mindset

If someone has behaved badly then you don’t have to feel guilty about breaking up with them. By breaking up with them you are relieving yourself of a poisonous situation that is not good for your mental health. Don’t feel guilty about this. Don’t worry about not being nice and upsetting someone else by breaking up with them. If someone doesn’t treat you well, then you must get away from them or you may end up losing your self-esteem and even your sanity. This is too high a price to pay

 

If you are breaking up with someone who isn’t the nicest they may play games with you to boost their ego as they are no longer in control. Don’t give the games oxygen. Just inform them politely (no need to lower yourself to their level) that you no longer want to be with them and then cut off all contact. The only time that you need to contact this individual is to organise the split and discuss childcare arrangements. There is no other reason to contact. If you have been with a man who has had a detrimental effect on your self esteem, the man needs to be removed from your life before you can heal and move on. Still feeling guilty? Think of it this way. If he chooses to treat you badly (and it is always a choice, despite the excuses that he has given you) then he chooses the consequences, which are a life without you

 

I hope this blog has helped in some way

Until next time

Emma xxx

If you would like help with any dating, relationship or breakup problem, then book a brain pick session with me. Contact me at emma@thedatingmermaid.com

 

by Emma Staddon on January 5, 2017 · 0 comments

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